"Family comes first."
Let's rewind a couple of weeks. The Ex emailed Husband on Monday, September 3rd, saying she wanted to switch the weekends; she said she wasn't going to be around the weekend of the 8th and claimed that Daughter wanted to switch for the weekend of the 29th. Husband emailed back that same night saying because Daughter had a tournament on the 8th and The Ex would not be around, Daughter would stay home with us; he said if The Ex wanted Daughter on the weekend of the 29th, they could switch for the weekend of November 10th. The Ex didn't read this email.
Last week, Husband emailed and said that Daughter wanted to stay for homecoming. The Ex didn't read this email, either.
Yesterday morning, The Ex replied to the homecoming email at 7:07am:
"Since she's with u during homecoming, (Daughter is not "with us." It's The Ex's weekend. Husband is telling her that Daughter wants to participate.) she can stay with you for that weekend and I'll switch for September 29th. (Well, that's funny. I don't recall that being an option.) I will not switch for November...[Daughter] has missed 3 years of our family reunion/gathering. (It's not a family reunion. Ned has thrown a joint party with his friend for 15 years; The Ex has only been dating him for 3 years. Daughter went to the party last year; Son stayed here with us.) Family comes first. (HAHAHAHA. She is delusional if she actually thinks any part of her lives by that statement.) But you have never understood the meaning of family since you kept her every time I've asked for the kids or you need to exchange a weekend. (Well, that didn't happen but okay.) How sad, and not just for me but [Daughter] too. One of our children, for years has seen you and [my name, misspelled] for what you've been doing to me all this time. (So Son is smart and Daughter is stupid? Is that what she's implying?) Look how you have pushed our son away. (Oh, we're back to that again now. I'm sure this will become a recurring theme.)"
The Ex immediately called Daughter after this, I assume to give Daughter "her" version of events.
Husband replied that he emailed her last week about this and because she didn't respond in the time frame that she was supposed to, Daughter would be going to homecoming. Husband said Daughter also had a tournament this weekend so The Ex would need to have her at the school Saturday morning to ride the bus, pick her up after the dance ended on Saturday, and then bring her home Sunday, and if she wasn't willing to do this then Daughter could stay here; Husband said he was not switching for this weekend. Husband repeated that if The Ex wanted Daughter on the 29th, they could switch for the weekend of November 10th, said it was up to The Ex and asked her to let him know. And then, just for good measure, Husband told her if family comes first, then she ought to stop planning out-of-state vacations without her kids on her placement weekends. (She and Ned were gone from September 8th through September 16th; they also took a vacation by themselves last year right as The Ex was alleging Son was depressed and suicidal, and left the kids with her parents. I'm all for people taking a kids-free vacation, but don't plan a vacation when you're supposed to have your kid, ask to switch placement after your plans are already made, and then pretend that your family comes first.) Husband said that all of his decisions are made for his family, and that it has nothing to do with The Ex.
The Ex replied in less than 3 hours:
"Family does come first and always has in our family here. ("Except for when I want something different. Then it's Me First.") If family came first to you there shouldn't be; (Someone needs to remove the semicolon from her keyboard. She has no idea what its purpose is.) let's switch this weekend or that weekend...but that's ALL you. (.....this sentence doesn't make any sense at all. It sounds to me like she's saying that if family came first to Husband, he ought to just let her have Daughter whenever she wants and disregard any time that we might want to spend with her.) On top of that, you take her on my weekend camping when she didn't have permission. (This woman is batshit crazy.) But...you AND [my name, misspelled] lied to her saying I said she could go. (That never happened.) I'm at work and you took all advantage of the opportunity to take her without my knowledge. I didn't know she left until after 5pm. (First of all, this happened two months ago. Second, The Ex texted Husband about it and he emailed her in reply; she did not respond. Third, I still have the text from Daughter saying that The Ex said she could go with us; Husband and I never said The Ex gave her permission. Fourth, The Ex already got into a fight over this with Daughter; she lied to Daughter's face and said she "didn't know" about it. If you want to read about all of that nonsense, I blogged about it here and here.)
I never said [Daughter] couldn't go to homecoming. (I never implied you said that.) I lose a BUNCH of My weekends and half the summer with [Daughter]...I WANT her to do things in her school. (Once again, it's not about you.) Putting her first; (STOP WITH THE SEMICOLON.) so she can do things she wants to do means losing weekends with her if that's what she wants to do and that hurts. (You're hurt because your child is happy. Let that sink in for a minute.) Because your (*you're) a stuck up jackass, I won't see her for over 4 weeks. (You were gone for two of those weekends, and Husband told you he'd let you have her next weekend if you wanted to switch. Somehow, this makes Husband a "stuck up jackass.") I know your proud of that and enjoy every minute you can to hurt me. (First of all, "*you're." Second of all, this. has. nothing. to. do. with. you.)
Don't tell me how to live my life, when all your (*you're) doing is going to push our daughter away too. (I don't recall telling you how to live your life. I do recall pointing out your hypocrisy, which I know you can't handle.) She knows more than you think. (That's where you're wrong. She knows more than YOU think. She is smarter than you and stronger than Son was; she can and will stand up to you when she has to. We don't put her in that position; you do.) We do talk. (Never said you didn't and from the sound of it, you argue more than you talk.) And NO, I'M NOT SWITCHING A NOVEMBER WEEKEND" (Okay, thanks for the clarification.)
After she sent that, The Ex called Daughter again and asked if she was around Husband. Daughter told her that she was in the car with me. The Ex rambled on for awhile, then brought up that Son and Girlfriend are having a baby. (It's legit this time. Ultrasound and everything.) When they got off the phone, I asked what she had said. Daughter brushed it off, said The Ex didn't want to switch for the weekend that Husband wanted to switch. I said that's fine if she didn't want to, but The Ex doesn't get to make the rules; they need to compromise.
Husband wasn't going to respond to the email, but changed his mind. The Ex was making the accusation that Husband was interfering with court-ordered placement; that's not a thing to take lightly. Husband replied that he had emailed The Ex about Daughter going camping with us, she knew about it and Daughter told us that The Ex had said it was okay. Husband said that we didn't lie and that nobody took advantage of anything. Husband told her that he doesn't care what she does with her life and reiterated that his choices are made for his family, not her.
Last week, Husband emailed and said that Daughter wanted to stay for homecoming. The Ex didn't read this email, either.
Yesterday morning, The Ex replied to the homecoming email at 7:07am:
"Since she's with u during homecoming, (Daughter is not "with us." It's The Ex's weekend. Husband is telling her that Daughter wants to participate.) she can stay with you for that weekend and I'll switch for September 29th. (Well, that's funny. I don't recall that being an option.) I will not switch for November...[Daughter] has missed 3 years of our family reunion/gathering. (It's not a family reunion. Ned has thrown a joint party with his friend for 15 years; The Ex has only been dating him for 3 years. Daughter went to the party last year; Son stayed here with us.) Family comes first. (HAHAHAHA. She is delusional if she actually thinks any part of her lives by that statement.) But you have never understood the meaning of family since you kept her every time I've asked for the kids or you need to exchange a weekend. (Well, that didn't happen but okay.) How sad, and not just for me but [Daughter] too. One of our children, for years has seen you and [my name, misspelled] for what you've been doing to me all this time. (So Son is smart and Daughter is stupid? Is that what she's implying?) Look how you have pushed our son away. (Oh, we're back to that again now. I'm sure this will become a recurring theme.)"
The Ex immediately called Daughter after this, I assume to give Daughter "her" version of events.
Husband replied that he emailed her last week about this and because she didn't respond in the time frame that she was supposed to, Daughter would be going to homecoming. Husband said Daughter also had a tournament this weekend so The Ex would need to have her at the school Saturday morning to ride the bus, pick her up after the dance ended on Saturday, and then bring her home Sunday, and if she wasn't willing to do this then Daughter could stay here; Husband said he was not switching for this weekend. Husband repeated that if The Ex wanted Daughter on the 29th, they could switch for the weekend of November 10th, said it was up to The Ex and asked her to let him know. And then, just for good measure, Husband told her if family comes first, then she ought to stop planning out-of-state vacations without her kids on her placement weekends. (She and Ned were gone from September 8th through September 16th; they also took a vacation by themselves last year right as The Ex was alleging Son was depressed and suicidal, and left the kids with her parents. I'm all for people taking a kids-free vacation, but don't plan a vacation when you're supposed to have your kid, ask to switch placement after your plans are already made, and then pretend that your family comes first.) Husband said that all of his decisions are made for his family, and that it has nothing to do with The Ex.
The Ex replied in less than 3 hours:
"Family does come first and always has in our family here. ("Except for when I want something different. Then it's Me First.") If family came first to you there shouldn't be; (Someone needs to remove the semicolon from her keyboard. She has no idea what its purpose is.) let's switch this weekend or that weekend...but that's ALL you. (.....this sentence doesn't make any sense at all. It sounds to me like she's saying that if family came first to Husband, he ought to just let her have Daughter whenever she wants and disregard any time that we might want to spend with her.) On top of that, you take her on my weekend camping when she didn't have permission. (This woman is batshit crazy.) But...you AND [my name, misspelled] lied to her saying I said she could go. (That never happened.) I'm at work and you took all advantage of the opportunity to take her without my knowledge. I didn't know she left until after 5pm. (First of all, this happened two months ago. Second, The Ex texted Husband about it and he emailed her in reply; she did not respond. Third, I still have the text from Daughter saying that The Ex said she could go with us; Husband and I never said The Ex gave her permission. Fourth, The Ex already got into a fight over this with Daughter; she lied to Daughter's face and said she "didn't know" about it. If you want to read about all of that nonsense, I blogged about it here and here.)
I never said [Daughter] couldn't go to homecoming. (I never implied you said that.) I lose a BUNCH of My weekends and half the summer with [Daughter]...I WANT her to do things in her school. (Once again, it's not about you.) Putting her first; (STOP WITH THE SEMICOLON.) so she can do things she wants to do means losing weekends with her if that's what she wants to do and that hurts. (You're hurt because your child is happy. Let that sink in for a minute.) Because your (*you're) a stuck up jackass, I won't see her for over 4 weeks. (You were gone for two of those weekends, and Husband told you he'd let you have her next weekend if you wanted to switch. Somehow, this makes Husband a "stuck up jackass.") I know your proud of that and enjoy every minute you can to hurt me. (First of all, "*you're." Second of all, this. has. nothing. to. do. with. you.)
Don't tell me how to live my life, when all your (*you're) doing is going to push our daughter away too. (I don't recall telling you how to live your life. I do recall pointing out your hypocrisy, which I know you can't handle.) She knows more than you think. (That's where you're wrong. She knows more than YOU think. She is smarter than you and stronger than Son was; she can and will stand up to you when she has to. We don't put her in that position; you do.) We do talk. (Never said you didn't and from the sound of it, you argue more than you talk.) And NO, I'M NOT SWITCHING A NOVEMBER WEEKEND" (Okay, thanks for the clarification.)
After she sent that, The Ex called Daughter again and asked if she was around Husband. Daughter told her that she was in the car with me. The Ex rambled on for awhile, then brought up that Son and Girlfriend are having a baby. (It's legit this time. Ultrasound and everything.) When they got off the phone, I asked what she had said. Daughter brushed it off, said The Ex didn't want to switch for the weekend that Husband wanted to switch. I said that's fine if she didn't want to, but The Ex doesn't get to make the rules; they need to compromise.
Husband wasn't going to respond to the email, but changed his mind. The Ex was making the accusation that Husband was interfering with court-ordered placement; that's not a thing to take lightly. Husband replied that he had emailed The Ex about Daughter going camping with us, she knew about it and Daughter told us that The Ex had said it was okay. Husband said that we didn't lie and that nobody took advantage of anything. Husband told her that he doesn't care what she does with her life and reiterated that his choices are made for his family, not her.
Comments
Post a Comment