Birthday time again.
I previously blogged about how The Ex seemingly ignores Son and Daughter's birthdays, but then posts about her two youngest kids' birthdays like it's going out of style. You can read those here and here. Now it's time to entertain you with this year's festivities.
Son's birthday - nothing posted.
Daughter's birthday - nothing posted.
The Ex's daughter's birthday - they had the birthday party on The Ex's daughter's actual birthday. The first post had 4 photos; The Ex tagged three people and wrote:
"Cake time. [Son first & last name] turned 17 on [birth date]. [Daughter first & last name] turned 15 on [birth date]. [The Ex's daughter first & middle names] turned 9 on the 29th!!! (Why the sudden excitement?) Happy Birthday Babies!!!"
The second post was a video almost a minute and a half long, which The Ex tagged eleven people and captioned it, "Pie face went wrong." The three kids shared a cake again this year; the top half was Moana and the bottom half was a picture transfer of three horses. (Because either of those things are TOTALLY fitting for Son. Oh wait, he isn't five.) Son is in the background, looking irritated (Which he was, because Girlfriend had told him that she was going to come to the party and then never showed up.) and Daughter is walking around behind everyone else. After The Ex's Daughter blew out the candles by herself, The Ex once again had to be the center of attention. She yelled her daughter's name and said to look at her; when she did, The Ex smashed a plateful of either whipped cream or frosting into her face. Two other people did the same to Son and Daughter. A little while later, you can hear The Ex yell, "I f*cking got her!" (This is how she speaks at a children's birthday party. I just can't even imagine why she thinks this is okay to talk like this.) Daughter wiped off her own face, snuck up behind The Ex, and wiped the whipped cream/frosting/whatever all over The Ex's face while she screamed and made a spectacle.
The third post was three pictures, one of each kid with the pinata. The Ex tagged Son and Daughter and captioned it, "Pinata time."
The fourth post was fourteen pictures. The Ex tagged fifteen people and wrote:
"Well...this was awesome!!! Made older kids get blindfolded!!!! And spun around!!! [Son first & last name] had to keep his feet spread apart two feet at all times and poor [Daughter first & last name] had to kneel. (If you really felt that bad, you wouldn't have made her do it.) It was too funny. ("Poor Daughter...it was too funny." What?) After everyone took a round (How does one "take a round"?) we made the Grandma's (*grandmas.) hit the pinata. [The Ex's older sister first & last name] was the first one to hit now that she's a grandma and then [The Ex's mom first & last name] was next! Had an awesome day!!!"
The fifth post was eleven more pictures. The Ex tagged fifteen people and wrote:
"I can't tell you how special this birthday was not just to my three kids that we threw this party for but to me. (It's not your birthday, this is not about you.) I actually had my whole family there minus [The Ex's nephew first & last name]... and some of everybody's significant others. (Uh, are the significant others typically not invited?) I'm hoping that this year's Christmas turns out to be another amazing event by having you all at my house again (You mean Ned's house.) and enjoying all the joys of life and family. (I love it when she tries to sound introspective.) Thank you to all else that showed and made this even better love all of you guys!!!! [The Ex's friend's first & last name]"
The sixth post was two more pictures of a bunch of kids playing on what looked like a former piece of playground equipment. The Ex tagged six people and wrote:
"Before fireworks!!!! Some went for a plane ride!!! [The Ex's son] has NO FEAR"
So for the joint birthday party, The Ex posted a total of six times and uploaded thirty-four pictures, one video, and wrote 206 words about all of it.
The Ex's son just recently had his birthday. The Ex shared two memories on Facebook of his first birthday. The first memory she tagged Boyfriend and commented, "Awwe!!!! How he's grown...Love You [The Ex's son first & middle names]." The second memory she didn't tag anyone and commented, "My Baby, now 6 years old" (Her misuse of capitalization still baffles me.) One week later, The Ex shared a number of pictures and a video of her son's birthday party.
The first post was three pictures and video of everyone singing happy birthday to The Ex's son in Ned's garage. The Ex tagged both Ned and Boyfriend, and wrote:
"[The Ex's son's name] your (*you're) growing up too fast my love. (Same generic bullshit every year. Yawn.) Your (*You're) 6 now. (Pretty sure he knows that.) My little man is growing up. (Omfg...this reminds me of essays in school when you're trying to meet a word quota but have nothing more to say, so you just start typing the same things worded differently.) I'm glad you loved your birthday party!!! [The Ex's son's birth date]"
The video showed that after he blew out his candle, one of The Ex's friends repeated the same trick of putting a plate of whipped cream/frosting in his face. (This was done a lot more gently and playfully when compared the way The Ex smashed a plate into her own daughter's face a few months prior.) The friend's son then took the plate and stuck it in The Ex's daughter's face. After she starts laughing, you can hear The Ex say, "Okay! Okay, no more! No more! No more! ... no more! No more!" Ned handed The Ex's son a napkin to clean himself and The Ex tells her daughter, "Okay, go- gooo...wash yourself."
The second post was seven more photos. The Ex wrote:
"Everyone trying to hit the pinata"
The third post was two videos. The Ex tagged Boyfriend, Ned, and Daughter, and wrote:
"We tried to get [Daughter first & last name] to hit the bar. She could see. Didn't work" (Daughter told me about this. They have a carport/canopy at Ned's house and that's what they hung the pinata from. The Ex's brother held the pinata up next to the pole but then moved it, and the rest of them tried to convince Daughter that's where the pinata was so that she would swing the stick and hit the metal pole. Sounds like a blast... *eye roll*) The first video included The Ex screaming things like, "[Daughter], come on! Come on, [Daughter]!", "Down, up! Come on!", "To your- to your- ...to your left!" while her daughter stood next to her shrieking, "Hit it! Hit it!" in a tone that sets your teeth on edge.
The fourth post was four more pictures. The Ex tagged seventeen people and wrote:
"[The Ex's son] had Ghostbusters theme birthday party. Look at all he got plus more. (This reminds me of how she always says that Ned is ABC "and so much more.") He was watching the girls Ghostbusters on t.v. and set up the guys facing the tv and said "mom, look my Ghostbusters are watching Ghostbusters"!!!!
THANKS 2 everybody for coming to [The Ex's son's] party! Sorry if I forgot some...[Boyfriend's sister], [Boyfriend's niece], [Boyfriend's brother-in-law], and [Boyfriend's other sister]" (This is interesting to me because it doesn't seem that The Ex bothered inviting any of Boyfriend's family to any of the other birthday parties she's held at Ned's house.)
So for her youngest child's birthday, she posted a total of six times and uploaded twelve pictures, three videos, and she wrote 116 words about all of it.
Son's birthday - nothing posted.
Daughter's birthday - nothing posted.
The Ex's daughter's birthday - they had the birthday party on The Ex's daughter's actual birthday. The first post had 4 photos; The Ex tagged three people and wrote:
"Cake time. [Son first & last name] turned 17 on [birth date]. [Daughter first & last name] turned 15 on [birth date]. [The Ex's daughter first & middle names] turned 9 on the 29th!!! (Why the sudden excitement?) Happy Birthday Babies!!!"
The second post was a video almost a minute and a half long, which The Ex tagged eleven people and captioned it, "Pie face went wrong." The three kids shared a cake again this year; the top half was Moana and the bottom half was a picture transfer of three horses. (Because either of those things are TOTALLY fitting for Son. Oh wait, he isn't five.) Son is in the background, looking irritated (Which he was, because Girlfriend had told him that she was going to come to the party and then never showed up.) and Daughter is walking around behind everyone else. After The Ex's Daughter blew out the candles by herself, The Ex once again had to be the center of attention. She yelled her daughter's name and said to look at her; when she did, The Ex smashed a plateful of either whipped cream or frosting into her face. Two other people did the same to Son and Daughter. A little while later, you can hear The Ex yell, "I f*cking got her!" (This is how she speaks at a children's birthday party. I just can't even imagine why she thinks this is okay to talk like this.) Daughter wiped off her own face, snuck up behind The Ex, and wiped the whipped cream/frosting/whatever all over The Ex's face while she screamed and made a spectacle.
The third post was three pictures, one of each kid with the pinata. The Ex tagged Son and Daughter and captioned it, "Pinata time."
The fourth post was fourteen pictures. The Ex tagged fifteen people and wrote:
"Well...this was awesome!!! Made older kids get blindfolded!!!! And spun around!!! [Son first & last name] had to keep his feet spread apart two feet at all times and poor [Daughter first & last name] had to kneel. (If you really felt that bad, you wouldn't have made her do it.) It was too funny. ("Poor Daughter...it was too funny." What?) After everyone took a round (How does one "take a round"?) we made the Grandma's (*grandmas.) hit the pinata. [The Ex's older sister first & last name] was the first one to hit now that she's a grandma and then [The Ex's mom first & last name] was next! Had an awesome day!!!"
The fifth post was eleven more pictures. The Ex tagged fifteen people and wrote:
"I can't tell you how special this birthday was not just to my three kids that we threw this party for but to me. (It's not your birthday, this is not about you.) I actually had my whole family there minus [The Ex's nephew first & last name]... and some of everybody's significant others. (Uh, are the significant others typically not invited?) I'm hoping that this year's Christmas turns out to be another amazing event by having you all at my house again (You mean Ned's house.) and enjoying all the joys of life and family. (I love it when she tries to sound introspective.) Thank you to all else that showed and made this even better love all of you guys!!!! [The Ex's friend's first & last name]"
The sixth post was two more pictures of a bunch of kids playing on what looked like a former piece of playground equipment. The Ex tagged six people and wrote:
"Before fireworks!!!! Some went for a plane ride!!! [The Ex's son] has NO FEAR"
So for the joint birthday party, The Ex posted a total of six times and uploaded thirty-four pictures, one video, and wrote 206 words about all of it.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The Ex's son just recently had his birthday. The Ex shared two memories on Facebook of his first birthday. The first memory she tagged Boyfriend and commented, "Awwe!!!! How he's grown...Love You [The Ex's son first & middle names]." The second memory she didn't tag anyone and commented, "My Baby, now 6 years old" (Her misuse of capitalization still baffles me.) One week later, The Ex shared a number of pictures and a video of her son's birthday party.
The first post was three pictures and video of everyone singing happy birthday to The Ex's son in Ned's garage. The Ex tagged both Ned and Boyfriend, and wrote:
"[The Ex's son's name] your (*you're) growing up too fast my love. (Same generic bullshit every year. Yawn.) Your (*You're) 6 now. (Pretty sure he knows that.) My little man is growing up. (Omfg...this reminds me of essays in school when you're trying to meet a word quota but have nothing more to say, so you just start typing the same things worded differently.) I'm glad you loved your birthday party!!! [The Ex's son's birth date]"
The video showed that after he blew out his candle, one of The Ex's friends repeated the same trick of putting a plate of whipped cream/frosting in his face. (This was done a lot more gently and playfully when compared the way The Ex smashed a plate into her own daughter's face a few months prior.) The friend's son then took the plate and stuck it in The Ex's daughter's face. After she starts laughing, you can hear The Ex say, "Okay! Okay, no more! No more! No more! ... no more! No more!" Ned handed The Ex's son a napkin to clean himself and The Ex tells her daughter, "Okay, go- gooo...wash yourself."
The second post was seven more photos. The Ex wrote:
"Everyone trying to hit the pinata"
The third post was two videos. The Ex tagged Boyfriend, Ned, and Daughter, and wrote:
"We tried to get [Daughter first & last name] to hit the bar. She could see. Didn't work" (Daughter told me about this. They have a carport/canopy at Ned's house and that's what they hung the pinata from. The Ex's brother held the pinata up next to the pole but then moved it, and the rest of them tried to convince Daughter that's where the pinata was so that she would swing the stick and hit the metal pole. Sounds like a blast... *eye roll*) The first video included The Ex screaming things like, "[Daughter], come on! Come on, [Daughter]!", "Down, up! Come on!", "To your- to your- ...to your left!" while her daughter stood next to her shrieking, "Hit it! Hit it!" in a tone that sets your teeth on edge.
The fourth post was four more pictures. The Ex tagged seventeen people and wrote:
"[The Ex's son] had Ghostbusters theme birthday party. Look at all he got plus more. (This reminds me of how she always says that Ned is ABC "and so much more.") He was watching the girls Ghostbusters on t.v. and set up the guys facing the tv and said "mom, look my Ghostbusters are watching Ghostbusters"!!!!
THANKS 2 everybody for coming to [The Ex's son's] party! Sorry if I forgot some...[Boyfriend's sister], [Boyfriend's niece], [Boyfriend's brother-in-law], and [Boyfriend's other sister]" (This is interesting to me because it doesn't seem that The Ex bothered inviting any of Boyfriend's family to any of the other birthday parties she's held at Ned's house.)
So for her youngest child's birthday, she posted a total of six times and uploaded twelve pictures, three videos, and she wrote 116 words about all of it.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
For those of you wondering, Ned's son also turned six earlier in the year. The Ex didn't even acknowledge him.
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