It's All My Husband's Fault

  As I've said earlier, Husband and The Ex had a constant cycle - they got along, then they would fight, they'd split up, they'd get back together, repeat.  When this particular incident happened, they were separated but not divorced.  In fact, The Ex didn't file for divorce the second time for another year and half after this incident.  But anyway...   Two officers were dispatched; Husband had called the police and said his soon to be ex-wife had come to his place of employment and was causing a disturbance.  As the officers were on their way, Husband told dispatch they were going to be moving outside so they wouldn't disturb business.  When they arrived, the noted a truck parked directly behind Husband's car.  The Ex said that Husband had stolen her glasses and pushed her; she said all she wanted was her property out of their car.   Husband told the first officer that had was at work when The Ex showed up and tried going into his car to...

  The first report was in March.  The Ex called the police and said Boyfriend had taken her vehicle ( She let him drive it all the time.  It was only a problem when she decided it was a problem )  Two minutes later, The Ex told dispatch she had found Boyfriend and the vehicle, and said that Boyfriend was drunk.  Dispatch noted in the report that they could hear yelling and swearing.  The police showed up, Boyfriend gave the key to the officer and The Ex took the car and left. ( Son and Daughter were here for this incident.  Daughter explained to me, in detail, how "[Boyfriend] took Mommy's car"; how "[Boyfriend and his brother] were drinking beer and [Boyfriend's brother] threw a bottle down the stairs and it broke"; how "[Boyfriend] lied and told the police he didn't have the key, but then gave the key to the police."  Daughter had way too much information about this incident for her to be only repeating what someone else had said )   Th...

  The first one was from February.  The Ex and Boyfriend had been living together for not quite seven months; she was four months pregnant with their daughter.  According to the call log, The Ex called the police and told dispatch that Boyfriend was drunk and called her several times; Boyfriend said if The Ex came home and parked behind his car, he would run it over.  Boyfriend was already talking to officers at their address.  The Ex called back about 15 minutes later and was told an officer would be sent when one was available.  Five minutes later, Boyfriend agreed to stop calling The Ex and would stay at his sister's house; Boyfriend's sister showed up and agreed to watch over him because he was drunk.  ( This happened on a Thursday night.  It wasn't even the weekend ) ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   The next report was from June and involved a bar; The Ex was also in this report, despite being 8 months pregnant.  Around ...

  Along with the report from 2006, we got a report from 2007.  Some underage kids had been busted with some of his friends smoking cigarettes.  One of them was The Ex's brother, who was 15 at the time.   One of the kids was interviewed and at some point, their mother ended up on the phone with the officer.  The mother said two of the kids were headed to The Ex's house to babysit for Son and Daughter while The Ex and someone else ( I'm assuming it was The Ex's cousin ) went to New City. ( The Ex had been dating Boyfriend for about 2 months now )  The officer then talked to the kid again; the kid said they were supposed to go to The Ex's apartment and babysit so that The Ex and her cousin ( Again, I'm assuming ) could go out with their boyfriends.  The officer said he knew The Ex had two young children ( They were 6 and 4 at the time of this report ) and he was surprised by how much he heard of The Ex leaving her kids with family members so she can go ...

  Unknown to us, there were lots of things going on in The Ex's house.  She always had a problem with Husband and/or me, but we assumed it was just sour grapes.  Not getting along with your ex-spouse doesn't necessarily make a bad parent ( Unless you're trying to turn the kids against the other person.  Then you suck as a parent )  We knew small things here and there - The Ex missed the kids' practices and/or games; The Ex would leave the kids with her parents for days while she was out with Boyfriend; The Ex was having her teen brother babysit since he dropped out of school and wasn't doing anything.  But it wasn't until after Husband had gotten the temporary order giving him physical custody of the kids that we realized just what a terrible parent The Ex had been.   Since the case was still ongoing, we sent a request to the Hometown Police asking for copies of any cases involving The Ex.  We got copies of two reports; one we had heard about,...

  In 2009, The Ex gave Husband her email address.  For what, I don't know but she did.  Then placement changed, the kids came to live here, Husband told The Ex he would email her information.  Daughter wanted to be in cheerleading; Husband asked The Ex who agreed to Daughter participating but said she wasn't going to help pay for it.  Within two weeks of this happening, Husband emailed The Ex with info about Daughter's practice and performances ( Exactly thirty-one days after this email was sent, The Ex screamed at Husband that he hadn't discussed this with her )  The same day that Husband sent the email about cheerleading, he also emailed The Ex about a PTA meeting which she chose not to attend ( And then months later, she called the school and said she had "no idea" where the kids had been attending school )   Husband emailed her about the kids' therapy appointments; she never came to a single one of them. ( Way to support your children. ...

  Sometime in mid-January:      “It’s [The Ex], I just wanted to talk to the kids. Can you please have them call me? Thanks.”   An hour and forty-nine minutes later:      “Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. I called about two hours ago, if not a little more, to talk to the kids. Um, still waiting for you to have them call me back. Bye.” ( It was Family Night.  We didn't have our phones and she knew this. )   Early February:      “Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Wanted to talk to the kids, if you can have them return my call. Um...I know you say 5 o’clock is the best time to call so...I was hoping to catch ‘em. Have ‘em give me a call. Bye.”  ( Husband never said this.  Our schedule had been the same since 2009; the kids and I didn't get home until around 5:30pm.  The Ex even left a voicemail in 2010 saying that Husband had told her the kids get home at 5:30pm.  But now magically, Husband...

  When I met Husband, his credit wasn't the greatest.  He had a few credit cards in the past; when he went through the divorce, he was late on a few payments.  He and The Ex had bought a car through J.D. Byrider ( Horrible, horrible idea.  Never buy from them, even if your life depends on it. ) and even though they returned the car, Husband was still liable for the balance because the loan had been in his name.  We got that account cleared up and Husband was slowly but surely rebuilding his credit.   One day, Husband bought an ATV and went to get a loan to help strengthen his credit more ( You know, proving he makes payments on time )  The woman at the credit union told him that his credit looked good with the exception of one account that was in collections ( Husband and I were both confused; we had been together for 3 years now and as far as we knew, the J.D. Byrider loan was the only negative thing affecting his credit; we had paid that off, so hi...

  Sometime in 2010, we started having "Family Night" at our house.  This was one night a week when everyone was required to be home; no friends' houses, no working late, no friends coming over.  It was just us.  We put our phones away, ate dinner together and did something as a family - watched a movie, played a game, went bowling, went swimming, whatever.  This was our one night a week to do something without interruption.   One day in 2010, The Ex asked if she could pick the kids up a day early.  Husband told her no, because it was Family Night.  The Ex said, "Why wasn't I invited?"  Husband told her it was not a school event; it was something that we did as a family once a week.  Husband said if she wanted, she could get the kids Friday morning. "Oh...I can't." ( If you're so busy Friday morning, then why did you want the kids on Thursday night? )   Shortly after this, The Ex made a habit of calling to talk to the kids on...

  2011 started out rather irritable.  It think part of this was probably because I was pregnant with Baby Boy and I'm sure the kids said something to The Ex about it.  We went to pick up the kids one day and Husband could hear Boyfriend saying, "Just leave it, I told you I'd put the sh*t away!"  Then Husband heard The Ex yell, "Sh*t, [Daughter]!" ( Who doesn't talk to their 8-year-old this way?  Builds character, right? ) Husband knocked on the door again, since apparently they were all too busy to answer it the first time he knocked.  When we were all in the car, Husband asked the kids what had taken so long; "Mom was having us clean." ( Have them clean when you know we're outside waiting.  Total logic. )   A few days later, The Ex tried calling while we were in the middle of eating.  Husband didn't answer, obviously.  The Ex immediately tried calling back; Husband answered the phone and said we were eating dinner. ...