Dancing The Night Away
The kids came home from school, said there was a dance in School City the next week and that they wanted to go with their friends. We told them that weekend was The Ex's weekend but we'd email her and see. Husband sent an email that Friday night, saying that the dance was next Saturday and both kids wanted to go. Husband asked if they kids could stay for the dance, or if The Ex would bring them to it.
Sunday afternoon, The Ex calls Son and says she got Husband's email about the dance but she has to say no. Son starts whining (Literally, whining) saying he wants to go. The Ex says they're having her son's birthday party on Saturday so they can't do both things; The Ex then starts playing mind games and tells Son that Husband shouldn't be talking to Son about this without talking to her first (What? You'd rather that Husband ask you if the kids can go, wait for your answer, and THEN ask the kids if they even want to go in the first place? How does that make sense to you?) Son raises his voice to The Ex, says he was talking to Husband about it because he wants to go. The Ex ignores this, asks if Daughter is there; Son says, "Yeah, she wants to go too!" The Ex ignores Son again, asks to talk to Daughter. Son hands Daughter his phone and says, "She's not letting us go."
Daughter gets on the phone, asks what time the birthday party is. The Ex tells her that the party is at 2pm. Daughter asks me what time the dance is; I tell her I'm not positive. Daughter says maybe they can come to the dance after the birthday party (This is the point that we've gotten to with The Ex. She can't just email Husband back and say, "Sorry, we have plans." Nope. Let's call the kids, tell them no, blame their father and then let the child try to make arrangements for the dance.) The Ex tells Daughter that she'll talk to Husband about it; The Ex says she'll call Husband back that night or the next day.
The next day comes and goes; The Ex never calls. Husband sends another email, saying the kids are asking every day and he doesn't have an answer. Husband asks her to let him know.
Two more days go by - nothing from The Ex. Son asks if they're going to the dance; I tell him I don't think so, we haven't heard anything. Son pulls out his phone and calls The Ex, asks if they're going to the dance. The Ex tells him that she was just going to pick them up tomorrow night, starts preaching at him about how he is going to have to miss things when his parents are split up. Son says, "So you're not letting me go?" The Ex says they've got too much stuff going on, says now she moved the party to Sunday (See how she did that? Had she left the party on Saturday, the kids could have done both activities. Now that she moved the party to Sunday, they can't do both - it's one or the other. Complete bitch move.) The Ex starts telling Son that she'll agree to them going to the dance but Husband has to do what she wants, and starts listing her conditions that Husband has to agree to (Why are you explaining this to the child?) The Ex says that's the only way she'll do it, and if Husband doesn't agree to it then she's coming to get them tomorrow. Son hangs up on her (Which we found out about later and dealt with at that time)
An hour later, The Ex tries calling Husband (Husband emailed her on Friday; The Ex doesn't try talking to him about this until Thursday night at 7:17pm. The Ex still maintains that Husband "doesn't communicate with her.") The Ex leaves him a message saying she wants to talk about the dance, she's confused (How can you possibly be confused about this?), says she has a compromise and if Husband doesn't call her back that night, she'll be there tomorrow at 5pm.
Husband didn't have his phone on him, so The Ex calls Son back to say she just tried calling Husband and he's not answering so it's going to be Husband's fault if he doesn't call her back and that Son shouldn't get mad at her for it (Wait a damned minute. Husband emailed you almost a week ago about this. You read the email, ignored him and now at the last minute, you want to talk about it - but this isn't your fault? You are psychotic.) The Ex goes on about how this happens when your parents are split up, sometimes you just have to say no, blah blah blah. Son is so mad he won't even talk to her, until he finally says, "I don't even want to go to [my little brother's] party. Bye" and hung up on The Ex for the second time that night. (Again, not okay. However, this is what The Ex has taught him is acceptable behavior.)
Husband calls The Ex back. The Ex gives him her proposal: they agree to switch weekends but she still wants the kids on Sunday for the birthday party. (So really, The Ex gets everything she wants and we lose a day of our weekend. That's the "compromise.") Husband says he doesn't know; The Ex says she doesn't know either, "It would just be best for everyone if you would just say come with me this weekend." (Huh? Why are we deciding what to do on your weekend?) Husband says it's up to her, it's her weekend; The Ex says that's "what everyone's been telling her" and says she was talking to some ladies at work (Because they are somehow involved in this) and her mom (Because she is somehow involved in this. Funny, The Ex has got the time and energy to talk to all of these other people about this, but waits until the very last second to talk to Husband about it. Then if Husband doesn't respond to her immediately, it's his fault). The Ex says she thinks it would be better for everybody (Everybody = The Ex) if she just picked the kids up. Husband says he can't tell her what to do; it's her weekend. The Ex repeats again that she'd like to switch the weekend but still wants Husband to drive the kids to her place on Sunday. Husband says he's not switching a whole weekend for one day; The Ex says she'll be at our place tomorrow for the kids.
We go tell the kids about this; they're both disappointed but were expecting it (And that, I think, was the saddest part. They knew their mom wasn't going to compromise) I think of something, tell the kids we'll call their mom again. Husband calls The Ex, says he'll agree to switching the weekend but he can't afford to drive them down there for just one day (We're getting $3.00 a month in child support and she lives almost 70 miles away. If we switch weekends and take the kids to this party, we're going to have to drive down there five weekends in a row) but she can come get them for the party. The Ex starts telling someone else about what Husband is saying and then says, "So I'll pick them up and you'll pick them up?" Husband says no, she can pick them up and drop them off. The Ex kind of laughs and says that's not going to work for her to pick them up and drop them off; Husband says it won't work for him either. The Ex says, "Well, you would've been driving over here anyway on Sunday." (Right - and you would have been driving over here on Friday to pick them up. So your argument is invalid.) The Ex says she thought that we could just bring the kids to the party and Husband and I could go see a movie or something. Husband tells her we don't have the money for that (We're supporting four kids by ourselves. I don't know where you think we're getting all this extra money for gas and movie tickets) The Ex says she'll just be here on Friday.
Friday morning, I'm talking to my dad about this. He's irritated beyond belief, particularly by The Ex's selfishness. My dad says, "Call her. Tell her if she'll meet me halfway, I'll pick up the kids for you on Sunday." (So now my father, who has no blood relation to Son or Daughter, is willing to compromise more for their desires than their own mother) Husband calls The Ex on his lunch break, throws out the idea. The Ex calls her dad, who agrees to meet Husband in Hometown on Sunday to drop off the kids; The Ex and Husband are going to switch weekends and the kids will get to go to the dance. The Ex also mentioned that Son was mad at her earlier and hung up on her; Husband said he would talk to him about it (Which he did. He told Son that was unacceptable, he should not be disrespecting his mother that way and that he needed to apologize to her)
The next night, The Ex calls to talk to Daughter. While on the phone, three different people (The Ex, her mom and The Ex's daughter with Boyfriend) all tell Daughter how she missed out on a fish fry and elaborate on how delicious everything was (Yes, two grown women sat there telling a young girl about all the fun she missed out on. As if that isn't disgusting enough in itself, then they get a child to join in on it) The Ex tells Daughter that she's picking them up at 8am on Sunday. Daughter asks why so early if the party isn't until 2pm. The Ex says they'll be here at 10am at the very latest.
Saturday night came, Son and Daughter went to the dance with their friends. They both had a ton of fun and were really glad they got to go.
Sunday morning - kids popped out of bed bright and early, both hopped in the shower, got dressed and ate breakfast. 8am rolls around - The Ex isn't there. 8:30am rolls around - The Ex still isn't there. 9am - nope, still no sign of The Ex. Son calls The Ex around 9:30am; she tells him they haven't even left New City yet but they're leaving shortly (Oh, for the love of....)
Son gets off the phone and tells us this; Husband calls The Ex back and says we're leaving for church, we can't wait around. The Ex says they all woke up late and asks if we can just leave the kids home alone (Ohhh, no. No no no no no. You are not coming to my unlocked house when I am not here. Snowball's chance in hell) The Ex says it only takes an hour and five minutes to get here (Last October, she said by email that it only took 55 minutes. In August, she said by email it takes 90 minutes. Two months later, she's now saying it only takes 65 minutes. Nobody moved, yet we've got a variance of 35 minutes that The Ex can't seem to account for. Very, very interesting.) Husband tells her no, the kids are supposed to sing, we're going to church and we should be home around 11:30 or so. The Ex gets pissed off, tells her dad that Husband "won't leave the kids by themselves" (Yes, he will. But he will not leave his house unlocked knowing that you are coming up here.) starts mouthing off to no one in particular about how "Oh yeah, they're five and six years old that they can't be left home alone for an hour." (Again, this has nothing to do with the kids' responsibility. Also, you were the one that said you don't think Son is responsible enough for contacts, yet now he's responsible enough to be home alone. Interesting.)
We go to church, get home, and wait. Just after noon, Husband gets a text message from The Ex's mom that says they're just leaving New City. They showed up at 1pm to pick up the kids. Husband asked The Ex's dad what time they'd be meeting to exchange the kids. The Ex's mom says, "Well, that's up to [The Ex]!" (Actually, it's not. Exchange time is 5pm so if I really wanted to be a dick, I'd stick to that. Btw, can we tell who raised The Ex and all of her siblings to be spoiled brats with ridiculous senses of self-entitlement??) The Ex's dad says it's not going to be late; he plans on getting back to the party, eating and leaving because he doesn't want to be driving home in the dark with all the deer running around.
The kids went to the party, Husband picked them up in Hometown and that was the end of that.
Sunday afternoon, The Ex calls Son and says she got Husband's email about the dance but she has to say no. Son starts whining (Literally, whining) saying he wants to go. The Ex says they're having her son's birthday party on Saturday so they can't do both things; The Ex then starts playing mind games and tells Son that Husband shouldn't be talking to Son about this without talking to her first (What? You'd rather that Husband ask you if the kids can go, wait for your answer, and THEN ask the kids if they even want to go in the first place? How does that make sense to you?) Son raises his voice to The Ex, says he was talking to Husband about it because he wants to go. The Ex ignores this, asks if Daughter is there; Son says, "Yeah, she wants to go too!" The Ex ignores Son again, asks to talk to Daughter. Son hands Daughter his phone and says, "She's not letting us go."
Daughter gets on the phone, asks what time the birthday party is. The Ex tells her that the party is at 2pm. Daughter asks me what time the dance is; I tell her I'm not positive. Daughter says maybe they can come to the dance after the birthday party (This is the point that we've gotten to with The Ex. She can't just email Husband back and say, "Sorry, we have plans." Nope. Let's call the kids, tell them no, blame their father and then let the child try to make arrangements for the dance.) The Ex tells Daughter that she'll talk to Husband about it; The Ex says she'll call Husband back that night or the next day.
The next day comes and goes; The Ex never calls. Husband sends another email, saying the kids are asking every day and he doesn't have an answer. Husband asks her to let him know.
Two more days go by - nothing from The Ex. Son asks if they're going to the dance; I tell him I don't think so, we haven't heard anything. Son pulls out his phone and calls The Ex, asks if they're going to the dance. The Ex tells him that she was just going to pick them up tomorrow night, starts preaching at him about how he is going to have to miss things when his parents are split up. Son says, "So you're not letting me go?" The Ex says they've got too much stuff going on, says now she moved the party to Sunday (See how she did that? Had she left the party on Saturday, the kids could have done both activities. Now that she moved the party to Sunday, they can't do both - it's one or the other. Complete bitch move.) The Ex starts telling Son that she'll agree to them going to the dance but Husband has to do what she wants, and starts listing her conditions that Husband has to agree to (Why are you explaining this to the child?) The Ex says that's the only way she'll do it, and if Husband doesn't agree to it then she's coming to get them tomorrow. Son hangs up on her (Which we found out about later and dealt with at that time)
An hour later, The Ex tries calling Husband (Husband emailed her on Friday; The Ex doesn't try talking to him about this until Thursday night at 7:17pm. The Ex still maintains that Husband "doesn't communicate with her.") The Ex leaves him a message saying she wants to talk about the dance, she's confused (How can you possibly be confused about this?), says she has a compromise and if Husband doesn't call her back that night, she'll be there tomorrow at 5pm.
Husband didn't have his phone on him, so The Ex calls Son back to say she just tried calling Husband and he's not answering so it's going to be Husband's fault if he doesn't call her back and that Son shouldn't get mad at her for it (Wait a damned minute. Husband emailed you almost a week ago about this. You read the email, ignored him and now at the last minute, you want to talk about it - but this isn't your fault? You are psychotic.) The Ex goes on about how this happens when your parents are split up, sometimes you just have to say no, blah blah blah. Son is so mad he won't even talk to her, until he finally says, "I don't even want to go to [my little brother's] party. Bye" and hung up on The Ex for the second time that night. (Again, not okay. However, this is what The Ex has taught him is acceptable behavior.)
Husband calls The Ex back. The Ex gives him her proposal: they agree to switch weekends but she still wants the kids on Sunday for the birthday party. (So really, The Ex gets everything she wants and we lose a day of our weekend. That's the "compromise.") Husband says he doesn't know; The Ex says she doesn't know either, "It would just be best for everyone if you would just say come with me this weekend." (Huh? Why are we deciding what to do on your weekend?) Husband says it's up to her, it's her weekend; The Ex says that's "what everyone's been telling her" and says she was talking to some ladies at work (Because they are somehow involved in this) and her mom (Because she is somehow involved in this. Funny, The Ex has got the time and energy to talk to all of these other people about this, but waits until the very last second to talk to Husband about it. Then if Husband doesn't respond to her immediately, it's his fault). The Ex says she thinks it would be better for everybody (Everybody = The Ex) if she just picked the kids up. Husband says he can't tell her what to do; it's her weekend. The Ex repeats again that she'd like to switch the weekend but still wants Husband to drive the kids to her place on Sunday. Husband says he's not switching a whole weekend for one day; The Ex says she'll be at our place tomorrow for the kids.
We go tell the kids about this; they're both disappointed but were expecting it (And that, I think, was the saddest part. They knew their mom wasn't going to compromise) I think of something, tell the kids we'll call their mom again. Husband calls The Ex, says he'll agree to switching the weekend but he can't afford to drive them down there for just one day (We're getting $3.00 a month in child support and she lives almost 70 miles away. If we switch weekends and take the kids to this party, we're going to have to drive down there five weekends in a row) but she can come get them for the party. The Ex starts telling someone else about what Husband is saying and then says, "So I'll pick them up and you'll pick them up?" Husband says no, she can pick them up and drop them off. The Ex kind of laughs and says that's not going to work for her to pick them up and drop them off; Husband says it won't work for him either. The Ex says, "Well, you would've been driving over here anyway on Sunday." (Right - and you would have been driving over here on Friday to pick them up. So your argument is invalid.) The Ex says she thought that we could just bring the kids to the party and Husband and I could go see a movie or something. Husband tells her we don't have the money for that (We're supporting four kids by ourselves. I don't know where you think we're getting all this extra money for gas and movie tickets) The Ex says she'll just be here on Friday.
Friday morning, I'm talking to my dad about this. He's irritated beyond belief, particularly by The Ex's selfishness. My dad says, "Call her. Tell her if she'll meet me halfway, I'll pick up the kids for you on Sunday." (So now my father, who has no blood relation to Son or Daughter, is willing to compromise more for their desires than their own mother) Husband calls The Ex on his lunch break, throws out the idea. The Ex calls her dad, who agrees to meet Husband in Hometown on Sunday to drop off the kids; The Ex and Husband are going to switch weekends and the kids will get to go to the dance. The Ex also mentioned that Son was mad at her earlier and hung up on her; Husband said he would talk to him about it (Which he did. He told Son that was unacceptable, he should not be disrespecting his mother that way and that he needed to apologize to her)
The next night, The Ex calls to talk to Daughter. While on the phone, three different people (The Ex, her mom and The Ex's daughter with Boyfriend) all tell Daughter how she missed out on a fish fry and elaborate on how delicious everything was (Yes, two grown women sat there telling a young girl about all the fun she missed out on. As if that isn't disgusting enough in itself, then they get a child to join in on it) The Ex tells Daughter that she's picking them up at 8am on Sunday. Daughter asks why so early if the party isn't until 2pm. The Ex says they'll be here at 10am at the very latest.
Saturday night came, Son and Daughter went to the dance with their friends. They both had a ton of fun and were really glad they got to go.
Sunday morning - kids popped out of bed bright and early, both hopped in the shower, got dressed and ate breakfast. 8am rolls around - The Ex isn't there. 8:30am rolls around - The Ex still isn't there. 9am - nope, still no sign of The Ex. Son calls The Ex around 9:30am; she tells him they haven't even left New City yet but they're leaving shortly (Oh, for the love of....)
Son gets off the phone and tells us this; Husband calls The Ex back and says we're leaving for church, we can't wait around. The Ex says they all woke up late and asks if we can just leave the kids home alone (Ohhh, no. No no no no no. You are not coming to my unlocked house when I am not here. Snowball's chance in hell) The Ex says it only takes an hour and five minutes to get here (Last October, she said by email that it only took 55 minutes. In August, she said by email it takes 90 minutes. Two months later, she's now saying it only takes 65 minutes. Nobody moved, yet we've got a variance of 35 minutes that The Ex can't seem to account for. Very, very interesting.) Husband tells her no, the kids are supposed to sing, we're going to church and we should be home around 11:30 or so. The Ex gets pissed off, tells her dad that Husband "won't leave the kids by themselves" (Yes, he will. But he will not leave his house unlocked knowing that you are coming up here.) starts mouthing off to no one in particular about how "Oh yeah, they're five and six years old that they can't be left home alone for an hour." (Again, this has nothing to do with the kids' responsibility. Also, you were the one that said you don't think Son is responsible enough for contacts, yet now he's responsible enough to be home alone. Interesting.)
We go to church, get home, and wait. Just after noon, Husband gets a text message from The Ex's mom that says they're just leaving New City. They showed up at 1pm to pick up the kids. Husband asked The Ex's dad what time they'd be meeting to exchange the kids. The Ex's mom says, "Well, that's up to [The Ex]!" (Actually, it's not. Exchange time is 5pm so if I really wanted to be a dick, I'd stick to that. Btw, can we tell who raised The Ex and all of her siblings to be spoiled brats with ridiculous senses of self-entitlement??) The Ex's dad says it's not going to be late; he plans on getting back to the party, eating and leaving because he doesn't want to be driving home in the dark with all the deer running around.
The kids went to the party, Husband picked them up in Hometown and that was the end of that.
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