It's All My Husband's Fault

  Five days after the scene at the ball field, we got a phone call - Son's first football practice was going to be on Monday at 5pm.  We asked the coach if he had a schedule for the rest of the season so we could provide it to The Ex; he said the rest of the schedule would be given out at the first practice.  Husband sent The Ex an email informing her of all of this; he asked if The Ex would be bringing Son to practice, or if Husband should just bring Daughter back on Sunday night.  Husband also said that Son wanted contacts so if The Ex had an objection to it, to please let him know.   The week goes by; The Ex doesn't respond.  That Friday, she shows up to drop the kids off.  Husband asks her what's going on for Monday.  "[Son] don't want to play in [School City], where's he playing?" ( The Ex knew exactly what Husband was talking about.   Clearly, she read the email and ignored it. )  Husband says Son is playing in School City. ...

  Son's team was doing really, really, really freaking well in baseball.  They made it to the playoff games and won two of three playoff games.  The Ex insisted on taking Son home with her after the second playoff game, saying she would have him back for the third playoff game two days later.   The day of the third playoff game, Son calls Husband at almost 4pm and is really upset.  Son says that they haven't even left New City yet; The Ex is just getting gas.  Son is angry because he knows he won't be there on time and says to Husband, "I should have just stayed with you the other night." ( We all know this, but The Ex has control issues and technically it was her placement time so we can't argue.  You can't fix stupid, Son. )   The Ex showed up with Son at almost 5:30pm; the game was supposed to be at 6pm so everyone else had already been practicing for half an hour beforehand. ( Son was supposed to be there at 5pm.  The Ex had been t...

  After the cancelled game incident, The Ex brought both kids to Daughter's game the following Monday.  At the game, Son's coach told us that the first playoff game would be that Wednesday and that Son needed to be at the field no later than 5pm that night.  Husband went over to The Ex, told her all of this, and asked her to think about what she wanted to do and let him know.   A little while later, we noticed that The Ex got into her van.  We told Son that The Ex was leaving so he needed to get going.  Son said, "No, she's leaving me here.  She doesn't want to drive back and forth all week." ( Walking over to the picnic table we were sitting at and saying this herself wouldn't have made sense.  Instead, tell the child that you're leaving him here and let him tell us.  Sounds like a logical adult choice to me )  In fact, The Ex was being so childish about this, that she wouldn't even come say goodbye to Son - she called him from her va...

  At the beginning of July, Husband emailed The Ex about her work schedule ( Which she was still refusing to give to him ) and about getting the kids to their baseball games the following week.  The Ex told Husband to bring Daughter back on Sunday; she said she would bring Daughter back that Tuesday for her game and take her home afterward ( Instead of just leaving Daughter here, letting us bring her back to you after the games ended that week and making it easier on everyone - no no, have us make the drive on Sunday night, you will come back on Tuesday and then go back home.  Okay, fine.  It's your placement time, we'll do what you want )   The day of Daughter's game, The Ex calls my phone at 11:20am. ( I contemplated letting it go to voicemail but realized I'd feel horrible if something had happened to Daughter, she tried calling me and couldn't reach me. )  The Ex says it's downpouring in New City and asks what it's doing by me; I say it's not ra...

  Husband emailed The Ex for two months about the kids getting to play baseball.  In that timeframe, he sent The Ex fifteen emails; she sent him six emails in a timeframe of two weeks and then refused to respond to him after that.  The kids wanted to play, so we let them play.  When we got their schedules, we scanned and emailed them to her.   There were only a handful of practices; there were a lot of games ( I can only imagine how pissed off she was for saying she'd bring them to their games.  Again, this is why we keep this to email - now she can't deny saying it. )  Husband sent The Ex an email in June asking what she'd like to do about getting the kids back; their order as it stood had him bringing them back to her Sunday at 5pm but Son had games Monday-Wednesday and Daughter had games on Monday and Tuesday.  Husband said he could bring them back Sunday night but they would both have to be back on Monday by 5pm; otherwise he can bring ...

  A new GAL was appointed.  She was okay.  Talked to Husband, talked to the kids; said she didn't really think that Husband had grounds to withhold because nothing had happened to the kids ( So you pretty much have to wait until the kids get hurt - THEN you can ask the court for help.  Isn't that something? )   We ended up resuming the regular schedule, hammered out a court agreement for The Ex to get "make up" time for the times we wouldn't let her have the kids, got it signed and settled; part of the agreement was that we wouldn't have to pay The Ex's attorneys fees and in exchange, we would waive the $700+ that she owed us for variable expenses and medical bills.   In the middle of this, Attorney 4 stated that The Ex didn't agree with having to pay for Daughter's basketball shoes because she "didn't agree" to Daughter playing ( She owed $14.80 for the shoes.  Husband emailed The Ex about basketball in October, it started in Nov...

  Husband emailed The Ex on New Year's Day, went over what they had talked about the night before, said he'd bring the kids but would be staying with them, asked her to check with her sister and make sure this was okay because they were meeting at the sister's house, etc.  The Ex didn't reply.   However, the next night, her sister ( The one who was supposedly hosting the Christmas party ) sent Husband a text asking if it would be okay for her to take the kids to the party and wants to leave by 10:30am ( Wait a minute....I thought the party was at your house.  Why are you "taking" the kids anywhere if they're supposed to be going to your house?? )  Husband texts her back, said he already emailed The Ex about it.  Husband then texts The Ex and asks her to please check her email and get back to him.  The Ex does not.   The next night, Husband sends The Ex another email saying he has no idea what's going on.  The Ex said the party was at...

  We were withholding placement because it was obvious Boyfriend was still drinking, The Ex was telling the kids to lie to us, and was risking both the kids and other people's health.  In our opinion, the kids did not need to be exposed to that and we could argue it out in front of a judge.   Every weekend that we withheld, The Ex and her family members would call Husband and Son's phones repeatedly, leaving messages, asking where we were, saying they were there to pick up the kids, etc.  Her mom even left Son a message saying, "Daddy's gonna pay for this eventually." ( Something every child needs to hear, an indirect threat against their father. )  Her mom told Husband on his voice mail that Daughter could've gotten lice from "either one of their houses" and that Daughter "was full of them when she came to [The Ex's]." ( No, she wasn't.  If it had come from our house, explain how nobody else in our house had lice, but The Ex'...

  We had a court hearing that Friday for venue change; our GAL had been appointed a commissioner, our commissioner had been appointed a judge and our judge was retiring, so we requested that the venue be changed to our county instead of The Ex's county.  When we went to the hearing, we filed an emergency motion requesting that The Ex's placement be suspended or restricted due to the head lice and Boyfriend's alcoholism.  Attorney 3 stated to the judge that he was representing The Ex only regarding her pending motion to modify child support due to her job loss.  The Ex didn't attend the hearing because she was attending Boyfriend's immigration hearing out-of-state.   The judge heard everything, agreed that the venue should be changed but because The Ex already had a pending motion, it would be heard in that county and the venue change would take place afterward.  Fair enough; the hearing was in two weeks anyway.   The day of the child support hearin...

  The Ex picked up the kids that Friday, they spent the weekend with her, and Husband went to pick them up on Sunday.  When he got to The Ex's house, she was outside with her sister-in-law ( Boyfriend was still in jail ) Daughter came out of the house and sister-in-law asked what happened to her hair; Daughter replied, "Nothing." ( Just stop for a second and think about this.  If someone asks you what happened to your hair, what is your response going to be?  Wouldn't you first ask them what they were talking about?  Or would you immediately say "nothing" happened to your hair, without even knowing what they were referring to? )  Sister-in-law said Daughter's hair was short in the back and asked who cut it; Daughter said no one cut it. ( Huh?? )  Sister-in-law said her hair didn't cut itself, asked to see Daughter's hair, looked at it and said, "You have lice eggs." ( ....are you f**king kidding me?? Again?!  Daughter was there for 48 h...

  In mid-August, we found out that Boyfriend had gotten stopped again for drunk driving.  The Ex had kept saying that Boyfriend had "quit drinking" and even if he hadn't, part of the court order was that he was not allowed to drink when The Ex had the kids.   Because this was Boyfriend's fifth DUI, it wasn't a misdemeanor anymore; now it was a felony charge.  We figured he'd post bond and be back out on the streets, like he did every other time he broke the law.  Nope.  Immigration put a hold on him; he could pay as much money as he wanted, he wasn't getting out.  He spent less than four days in county jail before immigration came and picked him up.   The Ex said nothing to us about it.  She dropped the kids off the week before school started and told them, "Remember, I won't be there [the first day of school].  I have [your sister]." ( We later asked the kids when their sister by The Ex had started school.  The kids said she star...

  The kids had literally been with The Ex for four days.  Son sent both of us text messages asking for our credit card information ( Snowball's chance in hell! ) so he could get XBox Live free for 30 days.  I told him to use The Ex's card.  Son said The Ex's card wouldn't work.  I told him to use Boyfriend's card.  Son said Boyfriend was at work.  I told him to ask when Boyfriend got home, and that it was very dangerous and irresponsible to share credit card information. ( Plus your mom is crazy and I would never trust her with any of my personal information, even if my life depended on it )   About a week later, The Ex's sister sent a text asking why Son was different with us than he was with The Ex.  I said probably because we require him to behave and act appropriate, she does not.  Her sister said the last time they had gotten together, Son had asked if his cousins could spend the night; she said no, so Son felt the appropriate res...

  When The Ex was picking up the kids one Friday, Husband asked about switching weekends.  Without even listening to why, The Ex said no "because Husband never switches with her." ( Back to second grade again ) Husband explained it was because Daughter's best friend was having her birthday party at a water park; he wanted to switch so that Daughter wouldn't miss the party.  The Ex looked at Daughter and said, "Well, do you want to go?" ( Why would we ask if Daughter didn't want to go? )   We had a hearing in February.  The Ex was still trying to get her child support lowered because she had been "unable" to work while pregnant.  Since she had a pending motion filed, Our Attorney sent a subpoena for her work information and found out that The Ex was earning almost $3/hour more than when the last child support order had been set.  We filed a counter-motion to increase child support and requesting that The Ex help pay variable expenses ( The Ex...