It's All My Husband's Fault

  Saturday night, Husband gets a message on 2houses: "I was wondering if there was any chance I could pick up [Son and Daughter] around 4:30pm tomorrow. ( The Ex mistakenly thought that they were supposed to exchange the kids on Sunday, which means she literally posed this question 22 hours before she thought was supposed to pick up the kids.  Again, you have to love her lack of planning in every single aspect. ) Next Sunday you could pick them up at 4:30pm. Please let me know. Thanks"   Husband replied in less than 15 minutes that the Christmas break was to be split equally and she would get the kids at 5:30pm on Monday, not Sunday.  He said he was sorry but he couldn't do earlier than the regular exchange time.   Over an hour and a half later: "I just looked up the calendar you made for court. ( The Ex is referring to the proposed placement calendar that we brought to court in February, when we presented a stipulation outlining how many overnight stays...

  Christmas is my favorite holiday.  I love the meaning of it, that we're celebrating the birth of our Savior.  I love spending time with my family and close friends.  So naturally, The Ex would find a way to make the Christmas season completely dramatic for absolutely no reason whatsoever.   The Ex called Husband on Christmas Day.  But, it wasn't to talk to her children and wish them a merry Christmas.  No, she had something else on her mind: "Hey, it's [The Ex].  I was calling because I'm gonna need a copy of [Son's] birth certificate? ( I know a question mark is not the appropriate end mark for this sentence, but it completely fits the inflection in her voice. )  Um, if you have one.  Which I hope you do.  I was hoping you can get a copy made for me ( It's Christmas. ) and I'll pay you, and I can meet you somewhere tomorrow ( It's CHRISTMAS. ), 'cause I need to fax it in as soon as possible.  Um, I have a deadline.  ...

  The Ex showed up for Daughter's game last week ( This would be the game that Husband rescheduled just to ruin everyone's plans in New City, because he is all-powerful and has control over what entire school districts do with their basketball teams. ) and gave Husband a check for $15, asked if they could move the exchange place to Different City.  We got home on Friday night, sent her a message on 2houses asking where she'd like to meet on Sunday.   The Ex replied less than four hours before Husband was supposed to pick up the kids on Sunday, gave him an address.  Immediately after Husband got the email saying that The Ex had messaged him on 2houses, his phone let him know he had a text message.  I asked who it was and said, "It's probably [The Ex.]  She's texting you to tell you that she sent you a message."  Aaaaand, I was right.   Now mind you, The Ex still has not signed the stipulation saying that the two of them will communicate exclusi...

  Let's rewind to the beginning of November.  Husband emailed The Ex and said that Daughter wanted to play basketball.  The Ex didn't object in 48 hours, so according to the court order, that means she agreed to Daughter playing.  Husband scanned the schedule and emailed it to The Ex.  The Ex replied with a very angry email that included the statement, "I would not say no anyways to [Daughter] playing basketball.  I know she likes playing." ( Even though last spring, she said she disagreed with having to pay anything for Daughter's basketball shoes because she "didn't agree" to Daughter playing the sport. )   Twelve days later, Husband sent a change request through 2houses asking if they could switch this weekend and next weekend.  The Ex replied the next day, asking if he wanted to switch weekends and saying she didn't know what he wanted. ( *head against wall* )  Husband replied and said yes, he'd like to switch weekends.  Three days...

  The Ex has been using 2houses, which is great.  However, the court order says she agrees to check her email and text messages daily.  There's nothing requiring her to use 2houses so The Ex could just decide to stop using it, which is why Husband wants her to sign a stipulation saying that they'll both use it.  Husband sent her a copy of this stipulation on November 10th.   Among other things, Husband sent a placement change request through 2houses asking if they could switch weekends in December.  The day after Husband sent the switch request, he gets a message with the subject "switch weekend": "[Husband] Not understanding what you want to do.  You want to have the kids the weekend of December 5th?  Are we switching with your weekend of the 12th? I'm not understanding what you want. [The Ex]" Husband replied and said that yes, he would like to switch those two weekends.  He also asked if she would be signing the stipulation say...

  Omg, you guys.   The Ex is cheating on Boyfriend.   I don't know if she's actually physically done anything with this new guy, but she's sneaking around to see this guy when Boyfriend's not around.  Even if it hasn't gone physical, she is absolutely having an emotional affair.  Plus she cheated on Husband in the past, so my guess is she's totally banging this dude already.   She posted some picture on Facebook about how much she loves spending "every day that she can" with her "man" which I thought was really weird because she and Boyfriend are married and live together, so it's not that hard to spend time together, right?  But that was before I found out she was cheating; I had assumed that she was referring to Boyfriend.  Now I'm almost certain it wasn't.   Also, New Guy is aware that Boyfriend is in the picture and is apparently trashy enough to not care that his new girlfriend IS FREAKING MARRIED.   Ew.  Ew, everywhere.

***  Disclaimer:  This blog post involves discussing menstruation and the female reproductive system.  If you get uncomfortable with these topic(s), you might want to skip this one.  ***   I'll be quite honest - a lot of people don't like talking about private things with their parents.  Even though as grown adults we all realize that "we all go through it" and it's normal, it doesn't make it easier when we're younger.  This is why Husband and I try very, very hard to talk openly about things and always tell all of our kids that there is nothing to be ashamed of; their bodies are changing, things are different, they're going to have questions and it's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. ( Did I tell you that Son asked me how you french-kiss?  Afterward he asked if I thought it was "weird" that he asked me; I told him no, because he didn't know how, he wanted to know, and that was totally normal for his age. ) ...

  There's a picture circulating the Internet that reads, "She's crazy.  And just when you think you've reached the bottom of her craziness, there's a crazy underground garage."  I don't know if you guys have seen it or heard that saying before, but it is true.  So very, very true.   Husband gets an email last Wednesday: "[Husband] ( I'm not exaggerating, she put this many lines between the greeting and the actual message )   I have not received any emails from you in a long time. ( Husband hadn't emailed her for one week.  Interesting how she sends an email just to say she hasn't gotten any emails.  She's not this efficient in any other aspect of her life, so when she emails just to "check in" I assume she's up to something. ) Are you sure you are sending them to this email? ( She brings this up because once earlier this year, Husband sent an email to her old address.  ONCE. )   I received your Letter ( Why is th...

  So about this whole sleepover deal...   Husband found out about it on the 13th, emailed The Ex right away and told her about it; asked if she just wanted to pick up the kids the following night.  No answer.   Husband emailed The Ex about the sleepover again on the 17th.  The Ex got this email, because she made a comment to Daughter on the 20th about something that was written in that email.   Husband mailed out the letter on the 20th telling The Ex that if she was going to continue to ignore his emails, he'd have to file for contempt.  The court got the letter on the 22nd, so presumably The Ex got the letter the same day.  She finally replied on the 22nd, rambling on about other things and asking if Husband wanted to switch weekends.   Husband emailed back half an hour later, said that he'd keep the kids this weekend and she would get them for the next two weekends; asked again about her picking up the kids after the sleepover....

  Daughter and Baby Girl have their Group sleepover tomorrow night.  Husband emailed The Ex about this back on the 13th and asked her if she'd like to pick up the kids Thursday night; she replied to that email nine days after but never addressed the question about the sleepover.   As it turns out, The Ex has invited herself to the sleepover.  She asked Daughter if she wanted her to stay; Daughter's answer was, "I think [my name] is, but yeah, you can come."  The Ex then complained and asked Daughter why she doesn't "ask Mom first?" ( Because Mom doesn't come to her activities.  Because all Mom does is complain about never having money or gas, so Daughter's not going to ask her to make an extra trip.  Because this sleepover is for the girls, not a mother-daughter activity.  Because it's not a competition between The Ex and myself.  There are any number of reasons that Daughter did not ask you "first."  Come to think of it, Daughte...

  Husband emailed The Ex last Monday about the two Group activities for Daughter.  No answer.   Husband emailed The Ex last Friday; attached a receipt for Group, attached a copy of a bill for Son's stitches from 11 months ago that The Ex has not made any payments on, asked again about Group activities for Daughter, and asked again about The Ex getting health insurance.  No answer.   Husband typed up a physical letter and mailed it to The Ex, also sending copies to the court and to Attorney 4.  Husband reminded The Ex that she agreed to check text messages and emails on a daily basis, that she would acknowledge the messages in 24 hours and reply in 48 hours.  Husband said that since this had been written into the order, The Ex had violated this almost two dozen times.  Husband pointed out that this month alone, he had sent The Ex six emails about Son and Daughter; she replied once and it was five days after Husband emailed her, not in 48 hours....

  In exchange for us getting every other weekend with Son and Daughter, we agreed to let The Ex have the kids any days that they have off of school.  Son and Daughter have off of school at the end of this month, which would be Husband's weekend but the order reads that he and The Ex will switch so she can get the makeup days.   Husband emailed her a week and a half ago, saying the kids had off and they needed to switch.  He says if it works for her, he'd like to keep the kids the weekend of the 24th; she can pick up the kids on Wednesday the 29th and keep them through the 2nd.   Five days later, she finally replies to the email( As a forward.  I still can't fathom why she clicks "forward" instead of "reply." ): "[Husband],   We were actually planning [her and Boyfriend's son] party that weekend. ( Their son turned 3 last week.  They're planning his party over two weeks after his birthday, because...um...yeah. ) I'm sorry but I won't ...

  Husband emailed The Ex last Tuesday telling her that if she was going to keep ignoring his emails and using the kids to communicate, he'd have no choice but to ask the court to find her in contempt.   Exactly 48 hours and one minute after Husband emailed her, The Ex tries calling him and sends a text message: "I just wanted to know if [Son] has a game or not. ( Husband told her in the email that Son wanted to go to the game whether or not he could play. ) If he does. ( Does she know what a comma is?  Does she realize that a period ends the sentence and that indicates the end of that particular thought? ) Did you fill out the form from school? ( Husband told her in the email that he would do it. ) Coach said it had to be handed in before school ends on Friday. ( Actually, he said 1-2 days before the game.  Unlike you, we don't wait until the last possible second to handle things. )  On Monday I sent both you and [Son] a text about this. ( This was also addre...

  We sat down for dinner Monday night.  Son asked if The Ex was picking them up. ( According to The Ex, Husband should just automatically know if/when/how she is picking up the kids and write notes on her behalf because....um...just because he should, so there.  Son is now asking US if The Ex is picking them up.  Clearly, this is not our issue if her own child is doubtful about whether or not his mother is coming to get him. )  We tell Son that we don't know because The Ex has not replied.   Son shakes his head and says, "Her email doesn't work." ( Oh my dear heavens, here we go again. )  I look at him and ask, "....again?!"  Son nods yes; The Ex is supposedly having problems with her email for the millionth time this year.  I ask Son, "Why is it that your mom is the only person to always have a problem with her email?"  Son shrugs. ( The answer would be, "Because my mom is a dumb ass" but then I probably would have told him not to say...

  Remember two Fridays ago, Son got hurt in his football game?  Apparently when the coaches and trainer say that Son seems "slightly concussed" and that we also needed to have his arm checked out, The Ex understood that to mean that he needed an x-ray on his arm and absolutely nothing else checked.   Monday rolled around, I pick up Son after football practice.  He gets into the vehicle and angrily asks me to pick him up after school ends on Tuesday.  I ask why; Son says that he tested at school and they're saying that he has a concussion, he needs to go see a doctor, and they won't let him play in the homecoming game that Friday ( I don't blame Son for being upset; I get it.  He's a freshman, it's homecoming and he can't even play in the game. )   We got home, ate dinner, Husband was going to email The Ex and update her on the situation.  A little while later, The Ex calls Son.  Son tells her that he has a concussion.  The Ex acts su...