It's All My Husband's Fault

  So, gonna have some graphic language in this post.  Figured I'd warn you.   The other day, The Ex was complaining to Daughter that she didn't think she should have basketball practice at the end of the month; she said Daughter should tell her coach that it's a holiday and they don't need to practice. ( The Ex has never played any sport in her life and has no idea what she's talking about.  The only reason she's saying this is because she doesn't want to have to plan on picking Daughter up on Friday; she wants to come to her game on Thursday night and leave from there with Daughter. )  Daughter replied that the coach scheduled practice because he didn't want them having an entire week off in addition to all the holiday food that we're all going to consume.   The Ex responded to Daughter's statements about her coach by yelling that Husband is "a piece of shit and doesn't care." ( The coach scheduled practice, so Husband is a pie...

  I'm waiting for Our Attorney to call me back so I can discuss this with her, but I'm relatively sure that Husband is going to be filing a restraining order against The Ex.

  A few weeks ago, it was Ned's birthday.  This is what The Ex wrote on his timeline: "When I moved to [Tiny City] last April I wanted to concentrate on my kids. ( You ran away from your marriage to Boyfriend and within two months, started dating Ned while you were still sleeping with New Guy.  At no point in your life have you ever concentrated on any of your children. )  I started working in May at [store] and met the most wonderful person. [Ned's first and last name]. ( She used to call Boyfriend her "wonderful husband."  Now Ned is "the most wonderful person." ) Thank you for giving me your phone number. ( I have no idea what Ned was thinking; part of me wonders if the loneliness signified by the end of his marriage was more than he could handle.  This is a complete rebound relationship for the both of them and I shudder to think of how their kids are going to be affected by their stupidity. ) My life and my kids lives have forever been changed by y...

  Sometime within the last week, Daughter asked me if she could stay here next weekend instead of going to The Ex's, as she was invited to a teammate's birthday party.  I told her that Husband would ask The Ex and see what she said.  Two days ago, she asked if we had emailed The Ex.  ( To be entirely honest, we have such an insane amount of things going on right now that we both forgot until Daughter said something. )  We sent an email asking if Daughter could stay, explained the reason why, asked for an answer and said thanks.   The Ex replied the next morning: "Can I get [Son] straight from school then?"   Husband replied a little over an hour later and said that if she was willing to leave Daughter here, then she could pick up Son that day directly from school.  He also asked that she make sure any homework that Son might have get completed over the weekend and brought home on Sunday. ( I realize that Son is old enough to do take care of t...

  Every year when the holidays roll around, The Ex tends to start acting crazier than usual.  If you missed my previous post summarizing everything that's happened over the years, you can read it here .   This year, we've already gotten our dose of Thanksgiving Crazy.  The Ex made Daughter miss practice, told Husband that Daughter will be missing practices scheduled on "her" time, tried to give the coach a note dismissing Daughter from practices without us knowing about it, told Son that Husband was trying to take Daughter away from them on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and got mad at Daughter for not leaving a game with her.  All of these events happened in short 5-day period.   In addition to her own crazy, The Ex had her sister call Husband on Thanksgiving.  The first voicemail was left at 8:26pm: "Hey [Husband], it's [The Ex's sister].  Um, I'm gonna be picking [Daughter] tomorrow around noon-ish, 12:15-ish. ( Thanks for the entire 15.5 hou...

  I continued thinking how strange it was that The Ex had been posting quite a bit about her and Ned's vacation.  I wondered what was so memorable about this, as not a single child belonging to either one of them had gone along for the trip.  The last time The Ex had posted any pictures of Son and Daughter was almost 2 months ago when they were all at her brother's wedding, and even that was just a single picture of Ned standing with The Ex and all of her children.  Now, we get to gaze upon a collective total of eighty-five photos and videos.  And every time she would upload something, her mother would share it via Facebook Messenger with Son and Daughter.  It all seems a bit excessive, wouldn't you agree?   I learned at a later date that following the vacation, The Ex texted a picture to a few different people including Son and Daughter.  It was a photo of her holding Ned's hand; The Ex wrote that Ned had given her a.....   ....promi...

  A little over a month ago, The Ex said to both kids that Husband "didn't tell her anything" and she didn't know where she was supposed to pick them up.  If you really think about that statement, it shows her ignorance.  Placement exchanges typically take place at our house; if she wasn't made aware of any changes to the schedule, why on earth was she asking where they were supposed to be picked up?  But anyway...   A week and a half ago, Husband emailed a PDF copy of Daughter's basketball schedule to The Ex and said he had also mailed her a paper copy.  The Ex read the message the day that it was sent and did not reply.  Five days later, Husband updated the calendar on 2houses showing all of Daughter's basketball practices/games.  This would mean that she was given not one, not two, but three different notifications of the fact that Daughter had practice on November 18th from 5:30pm until 6:45pm.   Later on in the week, The Ex asked So...

  The Ex has continued, both yesterday and today, to upload pictures and now videos of her and Ned's trip. "[Waterfall 6 name]" Uploaded three pictures. "[Waterfall 6 name] ends up in [Lake name]" Uploaded three videos. "Messing around by [waterfall 6 name]" Uploaded three pictures and a video. "[Waterfall 7 name]" Uploaded three pictures. "[Waterfall 6 name] ends up in [lake name]" ( Yes, we know.  You said that already. ) Uploaded a video she already uploaded. "[Waterfall 8 name] aka [waterfall 8 nickname]" Uploaded four pictures. "[Ned] and I climbed down to get a better view of [waterfall 8 nickname]. Had lunch and was challenged by [Ned] to climb back up 1 handed bc I didn't finish my soda and didn't want to empty it. ( ....this is literally one of the most stupid things I've ever read in my life. ) Challenge taken. ( Do you mean "accepted"? ) Beat it and got rewarded! ( She got rewarded for...

  Last night, The Ex posted multiple Facebook statuses about how Ned had taken her "waterfalling" and uploaded a total of thirty-nine pictures of their excursion.  Ned also uploaded an additional ten photos.  Let's start with the first one: "[Ned] took me waterfalling! This is [Waterfall 1 name]. Beautiful" ( I didn't think "waterfalling" was an actual term but UrbanDictionary.com proved me wrong. ) Uploaded four pictures.  Her friend commented, "So beautiful! Like you! Love and miss you! Glad your happy!!" ( This poor woman has no idea. )  The Ex replied, "Love you!!! Miss you even more. Thank you [friend's name], I am very happy!" ( For now.  Once upon a time, you were "very happy" with Husband and "very happy" with Boyfriend. ) "[Waterfall 2 name], upper and lower falls. Had fun climbing to it" ( If you didn't have fun doing it, would you have posted it to Facebook? ) Uploaded six pic...

  Extracurricular activities have always been a source of contention for The Ex.  Because she is a narcissist who cannot imagine anything existing outside of herself, it's impossible for her to understand and acknowledge that not only do the kids want to participate in things, but that it's beneficial to them.  Instead of recognizing the good that these activities do in the kids' lives, The Ex needs to reflect the focus back to herself.  Examples: Cheerleading   Husband asked if Daughter could join cheerleading; The Ex said she wasn't going to help pay for it and weeks later accused Husband of never discussing it with her.  The Ex accused us of forcing Daughter to participate and claimed she didn't like participating.  The Ex asked if Daughter could miss a performance because she didn't want to wait a few extra hours to pick up the kids.  When Daughter was chosen to perform during halftime at an NBA game, she had three mandatory practices - Th...

  Remember when I wrote this in July?  Okay, I forgot to mention that prior to anyone's birthday, she uploaded three pictures of all of her kids and wrote how she took them to a movie for an early birthday present to Son, Daughter, and her daughter.  About two weeks later, she uploaded four pictures of herself, her daughter, Ned, Son and Daughter horseback riding, which was Daughter and her sister's birthday gift from Ned and The Ex.  The Ex's son just had his birthday party this weekend and exactly as I predicted, she made a big deal about it.  So let's recap how this year went: Son's birthday - no acknowledgement on his birthday, was taken to a movie with the rest of the kids, went horseback riding for his sisters' birthday present ( He told us it wasn't very fun because his horse was either old or sick ). Daughter's birthday - no acknowledgement on her birthday, was taken to a movie with the rest of the kids, went horseback riding for her and her ...

  Last week, Daughter had practice at her school until 5:30pm; this also happens to be the exact placement exchange time.  The day that Son and Daughter were supposed to get picked up by The Ex, she started messaging both of them asking where they were supposed to get picked up and said that Husband hadn't said anything to her.   Initially, I thought we should maybe just let it go because it's just the same old crap with her - she doesn't pay attention to what's going on, blames Husband for her ignorance, repeat.  But I decided that I'd like some form of answer; the calendar showed Daughter would be in School City until 5:30pm, so why was The Ex confused?  Husband messaged her saying the calendar has shown since July that Daughter had practice until 5:30pm, they got done early, Son & Daughter said The Ex was already going to Our City, I decided to bring them to our house rather than leave them at the school to wait for The Ex, and then The Ex was upset tha...

  I learned that not only was The Ex hounding Husband this past Friday, but she was also texting Son.  Here's a full recap of the day's events. ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ 12:25pm - The Ex texts Son: "Is grandma and grandpa picking you up today?" 12:33pm - The Ex emails Husband asking what's going on and why it's showing he has the kids this weekend, says she's going to call him 12:37pm - The Ex emails Husband saying she sees that the kids are staying for homecoming, and to tell the kids she misses them and loves them and to have fun 12:38pm - Son replies and says no, he is not getting picked up. 12:43pm - The Ex leaves Husband a voice mail that is over 2 minutes long saying she doesn't know what's going on, he needs to text or call her, and to tell the kids that she loves them and to have fun and that she wishes she "could be a part of that." 12:45pm - Husband replies saying he told her a week ago that Son wanted to stay for homec...

  I am about to pee my pants laughing.   Last Friday, Son texted me and asked if we could tell The Ex that he also wanted to go to homecoming; it falls on her weekend and The Ex had previously said it was okay for Daughter to stay here.  Husband updated the change request to say that Son also wanted to go and that they could switch this weekend for either October 8th or 15th, and for The Ex to let him know which weekend she preferred.   Having not received a response after four days, Husband deleted the change request, updated the calendar to show that he would have placement this weekend, and messaged The Ex to let her know; he again stated that they could switch for the weekend of October 8th or 15th.  The Ex logged in at 7pm and did not read the message.   That same night, we realized there was an issue with the 2houses calendar; it was combining all of the parenting schedules and saying that the kids were at both houses on the same day.  Husb...

  I am so completely at a loss for words right now.   Yesterday, Son & Daughter brought home their school picture order forms.  This is the eighth year that we've had custody of them, which means this is the eighth time that Husband has asked if The Ex would like to order pictures.  The Ex has two other children and should understand by now that each child gets one order form.   Husband scanned, uploaded and emailed the order form to The Ex yesterday afternoon and said: "[Son] and [Daughter's] school pictures are being taken on Monday. If you would like to order something, please let me know by Sunday evening at the latest. You can bring your payment when you pick up [Son] on Friday, September 23rd."   The Ex replied today: "Please make sure [Son] brings in 2 forms"   I am not exaggerating when I say that photo is my exact reaction.  Husband replied that that kids only get one form per child, the forms need to be turned in with...

  The Ex is being a downright bitch to Daughter.  Between the water park passes and saying she's not making extra trips to what I'm about to blog about, she is just being plain rotten to her own child.  I feel as if I should have been better prepared for this day but I think my morals keep hoping/wishing that The Ex will just. get. it. together.   Homecoming for Son & Daughter is on The Ex's placement weekend.  Originally Son wasn't sure if he was going but Daughter said she wanted to go.  In fact, she told The Ex that she wanted to go.  I told Son to decide if he was going or not because if he was, then Husband would ask The Ex about switching that weekend with another; if he was not going, then Husband would just ask if Daughter could stay here.  Son decided not to go so Husband sent a change request on 2houses with the reason for the request as, "[Daughter] would like to stay here the weekend of September 24th for homecoming."   Th...

  Remember when The Ex said she couldn't ask her parents to help her anymore with picking up or dropping off Son and/or Daughter because "there" not doing so well?   The kids were supposed to be back here at 5:30pm on Monday.  The Ex first asked her parents to watch her two youngest kids because they didn't want to go along for the ride( I have no idea why Ned couldn't watch them, or why she couldn't just say they were all going and that was the end of it. )  Then she asked her parents to drop off Son & Daughter for her and claimed it was because she didn't want to drive on her spare tire.  The Ex's dad finally said he'd do it but she needed to give him gas money; The Ex asked how much he wanted, then whined and asked if he "thought she was made out of money." ( So not only does she want him to take her kids back for her, but she wants him to pay for it out of his own pocket. ) First he said $100 and laughed.  The Ex argued that w...

  At the end of September, the kids don't have school on Friday which means that Son & Daughter would get picked up on Thursday night.  However, Daughter has practice Friday afternoon.  The Ex's brother is also getting married that weekend, nearly 2 hours from where they all live.  Then Son & Daughter would have to come back to our house on Sunday evening.  What this boils down to is that The Ex will be doing somewhere around 14-16 hours of driving that weekend.   Daughter tells me yesterday that The Ex wants her to skip practice at the end of the month because she "doesn't want to drive that much that weekend."  I looked at Daughter and said, "...then don't move two hours away."  Daughter replied, "Right?!" ( I typically do not say anything about The Ex that could be perceived in a negative way, but Daughter's reaction confirmed that she is not the idiot that her mother wishes she was - she can see her mother's true color...

  Daughter has started volleyball for this year; everything has been on the calendar for well over a month, and The Ex was told on August 9th that she was responsible for picking up Daughter this past Wednesday when practice ended.   On Tuesday, Daughter's coach made an announcement that practice was going to end at 5pm the following evening rather than at 6pm as originally scheduled.  Daughter told me this when I picked her up; I believe she was already texting The Ex to let her know but I said Husband would email her about the change.  We got home, Husband updated the calendar on 2houses, and sent a message about the earlier finish time.   Forty-six minutes later: "Mom and dad ( *Dad ) want to watch [Daughter] practice. ( "I'm too lazy to come get Daughter, so my parents will be doing it for me.  I will make it seem like this is what they want, rather than just them compensating for my deadbeat parenting as they always do." ) Since there ( *they're )...

  My assumption is that there's trouble in paradise (i.e. The Ex and Ned are fighting) because The Ex is suddenly firing off messages to Husband and telling him what he's going to do.  Wait, no.   Trying to tell him what to do.  The Ex has a history of attacking Husband without provocation whenever something else is going poorly in her life; in the past, I've been able to match the incidents of her blowing up at Husband to police reports/Facebook posts/whatever else indicating that she and Boyfriend were fighting.   After not discussing her plans, The Ex announced she was dropping off Daughter on Sunday and declared Husband was taking her to her physical.  Husband and I have a wedding to attend on Sunday; we're not going to leave our home unlocked all day long.  After the incident 2 years ago when The Ex showed up unannounced when we weren't home and in essence told the kids to unlock the house after we explicitly said not to do so, neither of the kid...

  It's come to be expected that anytime you try to talk to The Ex, she will act like you are inconveniencing her in every way imaginable.  Even if it's something that affects her, she will act like it's a burden for her to have to try to discuss anything about her children.   Back in June, Husband emailed The Ex to let her know that Daughter wanted to play volleyball and basketball this upcoming school year.  The next day, The Ex replied that she would like to see a schedule.  Husband replied, said he attached the volleyball schedule but that the basketball schedule had not been put out yet.  The Ex did not respond.   On July 18th, Husband created calendar events on 2houses showing all of Daughter's volleyball activities: practices, games, tournaments, etc.  The Ex said nothing.   On July 29th, I scheduled a sports physical for Daughter with her doctor; now that she's in high school, a physical is required for her to participate in any school...

  I feel it's important to acknowledge each child on their birthday; I want them to understand that they're important to me in their own unique way.  I probably feel more strongly about this than I should because between the six kids that we and The Ex have, four of them have birthdays in July. It's easy to feel like you got thrown together with everything else so I always try to make an acknowledgement of each individual child. On the other hand, this is what The Ex has done since she joined Facebook: 2012   No post on Son's birthday.   Posted 34 words about Daughter's birthday.   Uploaded six pictures of her niece's baptism, THEN posted 39 words about Son's birthday which included making sure to let us all know that she "wasn't on Facebook" on his birthday. ( Yes, she was )   Posted 64 words about her daughter's birthday and another 22 words about her niece/goddaughter's baptism. Uploaded a photo of her daughter with her birthda...

  The Ex took out a restraining order on Boyfriend over a year ago.  Immediately following this, Boyfriend continued to try making contact - my guess is not because he wanted to see her, but because he wanted to see his children that The Ex essentially stole from him.  Boyfriend was charged and recently convicted on two counts of violating the restraining order; now that the case is closed, I can get copies of documents from the case.   The one I really wanted to see was what is referred to as a "victim impact statement."  This is how the victim can explain to the court how they were affected by the crime, what they would like the sentencing to be, etc.  You should probably get some popcorn, because I'm going to type this entire thing out and, as always, give you my opinion on it. " State of [Our State] vs. [Boyfriend's Name] Case No. [case number] ( Random fact:  you're supposed to clarify which county the case is in.  Looking over this ...